Trying to give… Love

I saw a quote earlier that said;
“You deserve the love you keep trying to give everyone else.”

The word that jumped out at me was “Try”.
Call me crazy, but the image that came to mind was of someone “giving love” to others, and then pulling it back… taking it back when they didn’t feel it was reciprocated.
Trying to give love…
There is either giving love freely, unconditionally – or it isn’t love that is being given.
And this has truly given me something to ponder
- because now I’m questioning if we deserve… love; the first part of this quote.

I’ve often heard that we all deserve to be loved.
It sounds good, it sounds warm and fuzzy – and I’m sure we all want to feel loved.
But does everyone deserve to be loved?
And if so; by whom?
Does everyone deserve to be loved by everyone?
SHOULD everyone love everyone else??
If not, then who should be loving, and who shouldn’t – and what are the so called “rules”?
It seems we’re back in the realm of conditional… as if deserving love may be dependent on something; some way of being, a behavior, what we do, what we say…
How… and if… we love others.

Full circle now.
Deserving love.
Why?
I can’t help but think of people who have done the most atrocious things in this world;
names like Hitler, Mussolini, Manson, Stalin, Bundy, Dahmer…
Did they deserve love? Do they still??
What would love look like???

What does that love that we feel we deserve look like???
I can’t help but think… they may be different.

As I reach what I’m going to call the end of this, I’m left wondering -
Do I deserve the love I’ve been giving to others?
And I must admit; I do not want it.
I want more.
And truly, I want more for others.
I yearn to cast off the walls of inhibition that have me in silence
and put into word and deed that which others might see;
an overwhelming love that is present… just not presented.

I often wonder how the world would look
if we truly did love one another unconditionally
and looked neither at what we lacked, nor what we gave -
nor feared what we might receive in return: good or bad.

Do we deserve
the love we give others?

Maybe that’s what we’ve been getting -
        and why it isn’t enough…